I’m going to my first Toastmasters meeting as a guest tonight. I’ve heard great things about the organization:

“Toastmasters is the best and least expensive personal improvement class you can go to.”

– Lisa Lingle
Governor of Hawaii

… and I’m looking forward to the meeting, which begins in an hour.

11:29 p.m. UPDATE:

This post already has a comment from Andrew.

I must admit I didn’t expect to come home from my first ever Toastmasters meeting as a guest and find a comment on my blog… a blog I only recently started writing again after a 2 month break.

The Toastmasters meeting gave me an awesome feeling.

I brought my new journal with me. I just started keeping it as part of my new committment to much-needed self-development. The journal was a recommendation by a speaker and business philosopher named Jim Rohn.

I took notes during the meeting, among them…

I was amazed not only by the efficiency and punctuality of the group, nor by the warm friendliness, which I mostly expected, but also the variety of people and the quality of speakers.

Not all were great. However, the best were OUTSTANDING and I could see where all were improving dramatically.

Jacqui had said to me, “But you’re already a good speaker.”

I admit, from a very shy childhood where I was literally a loner for 4 years after my parents divorced and I moved to a new province, spending most of my time either out in the wilderness or in the library studying interesting (but not terribly helpful) things like English naval and Roman history, I was once extraordinarily shy.

What finally broke me out of my shell — extremely painfully — was girls.

Simply put, I was terrified of them and couldn’t speak to them to save my life. When I finally decided I wanted to meet them I was so awful at it every single one said no.

But!

I learned to persevere in this one thing at least. Motivation was high.

Finally, my confidence grew and even before I uncovered how to be adept at meeting members of the opposite sex, I realized I was relaxing and feeling good about putting myself on the line. Success on multiple fronts occurred forthwith.

Then I achieved much bigger success and found a woman who makes me so much happier than I ever could be alone, or with any number of others, however many excellent qualities they may have.

For I’ve never found anyone to match hers, nor in so many ways.

Further, she makes **ME** better.

I listened last night and today for the first time ever to an audio called The Success System that Never Fails by W. Clement Stone, who built a huge instant issue insurance empire and wrote about a Positive Mental Attitude.

He was an extraordinary salesman and lived to be 100, one of his goals, and was a wonderful philanthropist.

However, what grabbed me at my core is this.

Jessie Stone, his wife. They were married over 78 years and he named his charitable foundation after both of them.

(Intriguing fact: She outlived him by 2 years, and she also lived to be 100.)

W. Clement Stone said how when he was 21 he married her because he knew she’d make him a better man than he would be alone. And he obviously loved her.

So, yes, as a salesman, but also otherwise, W. Clement Stone is now one of my mentors and I don’t care how “hokey” anyone not committed to self-development thinks that is.

I seek out mentors for inspiration and learning.

At Toastmasters tonight was a fellow guest who works for the Canadian military as a psychiatrist. This reminded me of some of the work Stone did helping fund an organization called GROW (Australian website, and they help in other countries including the United States) which uses self-help philosophies to help mentally ill people live better and reach their potential.

Some studies showed — unlike some other methods, arguably — total hospital admissions were reduced and the length of admissions were lowered. A particular longitudinal study proved people became more independent with time.

Exactly the right result.

So Stone was both an effective person, and a good person as are many others. Dare I say it? A high percentage of Toastmasters members are, I’ll bet you.

Later, I even found some courses on the subject and recognized much of the subject matter. I was like, “Wait, I did that! That was my experience too.”

In selling my experience was similar. I was horrific at it, and terrified.

One thing I could never stand was to be afraid. Being afraid was a reason to do something until the fear went away.

It’s just like when I moved from Manitoba where the land is flat to British Columbia where we have hills and mountains.

I remember going to the nearby Goldstream Provincial Park as a teenager with my dad, his girlfriend, and my younger and only sister, and they were going up this incline like it was nothing, and I was pressed against the Earth in terror.

I could not move.

I’ve heard other people with a fear of heights describe it this way, so I know I’m not alone. I felt like I would rather throw myself off than make my way down.

I didn’t, of course. Besides, it wasn’t much of a slope. I don’t think I would have died if I had fell down.

But the terror was immense, I want you to understand.

Other parts on the way up to that railway trestle were harder and steeper and I hadn’t got to them yet.

I don’t know if I did it that night, or the next night, or a night two months later… but I know this.

Without telling anyone, I went back to that trestle, a walk of about 3 miles, and with an electric torch in hand made myself go further up the slope. In terror.

Goldstream Trestle
Click to enlarge

I did this again and again over many nights. Finally, I got to the point that I could go up that slope, and all the others, and cross over the high long railway trestle, at night, with no torch, on a night with no moonlight. I did this many times.

Later, I hiked hundreds of miles by myself over Vancouver Island facing all manner of terrain free from fear.

I’ve rapelled and while the fear returned briefly, once I overcame it, it was gone utterly. At a later session, I went with others who had never had a native fear of heights and who had rapelled many times. I had no fear whatsoever. And I was aggressive and joyous in how I jumped off the tower, rappelled down fast, and stopped myself just short of the ground.

And so it was with selling to the point where I love the profession, no longer want to work purely in customer service, and want to find a position in my chosen field.

I even wrote this little website to put in writing some of my ideas to help a business grow through increased sales, which I will make for them.

I figure if I’m now going to SELL myself to businesspeople as a serious person who excels at communicating and is outgoing, I should do the things those people do.

And so I went to Toastmasters. I spoke a tiny bit tonight, my first night, and in my journal had to write a little note to myself to “try” (I hate that word!) not to speak too much, so as to focus on all the other people.

I didn’t have to overcome shyness, which is wonderful.

The “word of the night” tonight was SPIRIT. Every time someone said it, we thumped on the table.

I’ll allow myself this much: With full sincerity, inspired by being in the company of a bunch of great people all working to better themselves, and motivated completely by them, I came up with one good line at the end when they asked for comments.

We were meeting in a room in a Catholic parish.

“Since we are holding this meeting in a Catholic establishment, and since I’m honoured to be with you, it’s my pleasure to say you all have very good… … …

…

… SOULS.”

That got a laugh.

Yet I could not have matched their best speakers tonight and there were only 21 people including yours truly. One of the speakers who is brilliant is a double math/history major (for goodness sakes!), not a Sales Pro nor other traditional speaking and listening specialist.

I shall have to raise my game and look forward to doing so.